Closing Remarks

This week I collected my final research data and as I sat down to make conclusions and reflect on the information it revealed, I realized that even though my data was based on information from the kids, that information didn't necessarily communicate the entire truth.  As I got to thinking, I began to realize that every survey I had given out, no matter how 'objective' the interpretation on my end, the interpretation in the eyes of the students may have varied by day, week, month, year, position, experience, culture, family, etc.  It was my goal and desire for the data to be objective as possible.  However, objective thinking did not necessarily even cross their minds.  Many times it looked as if student circled or scribbled the closest number to wherever their pencil was resting.  Besides, every student is very different.  Even with the description of what each number means, there is still a huge error chance.  An horrible day to one student might be an awesome day to another and vice-versa.  

Instead of pouting about the fact that research revolving people will never be completely accurate or flawless, I decided that I would attempt to calm my nerves by seeking out more information.  So I passed out a final surveying form, which asked my students to think back over their trimester and conclude for themselves, without any help from the collected data, their feelings about the trimester, their attitude, effort and comfort level in the classroom.  Curious to see the results, I also asked students whether they had any control over their learning experiences.  It was interesting to see that a few students realized their control in experience lay in their perspective, while others were not able to see that, and concluded that they had no control over their learning.  I wonder if the students who had the wisdom to see their own control gleaned that knowledge from others or if they stumbled upon it through reflection and reasoning?  Likewise, I wonder if the other students were told about the power of perspective, if they could find new enjoyment in learning and new depth to their educational experience?

Through these last surveys, I have found that I have been much harder on myself as a teacher then I needed to be.  I set my goal at a level of ideal perfection when I entered the teaching profession, and have been reflecting on all the infinite ways that I could improve my teaching, instead of focusing on improving the strengths that I already have. 

So, in focusing on the positive, I have found through this teaching experience, research and reflection the following:

1. Students are as comfortable with me as I am comfortable with myself
2. Students want friends, and need teachers.
3. Students WANT to learn (this was REALLY encouraging to read on surveys!!!)
4. Students also want to have fun and be social
5. Boundaries are not unwanted, but will always be tested in order to guarantee their stability
6. You cannot judge a student by their expression, just like you cannot judge a book by its cover
7. Students hear what you don't say through your actions
8. Students want to be valued and enjoy success (even the ones who pretend not to, smile about it when they think you are not looking)
9. Students care more if I care more
10. Students can complain about and enjoy the same task.

Likewise, I have learned much about myself:

1. I like to be liked by students, but also take pride in times when they call me 'mean' or 'strict.'
2. I expect my students to all pass with high grades, and to retry if they don't succeed the first time
3. I love to learn and struggle to understand the student who seems uninterested in learning 
4. I sometimes sacrifice too much of myself to help my students and end up being worn-out and less help to them than if I had done/counseled/interacted with/tutored/etc. less deeply.  
5. I struggle seeing students as purposeful in bad behavior.

There is still so much to learn!  I suppose that means there is a necessity for more research in the future. :)

-AmyM

Ideals vs. Stress

I've repeatedly stated that my goal as a teacher is to deliver dynamic, engaging instruction. This has been my goal from day one, but reality and I have recently begun to fight about it a bit. I do want to engage my students, but when it comes down to daily planning, coupled with the demands of work sample, research symposium preparation, and grading tests/essays, I'm afraid it hasn't been as easy as I originally thought.

As I stated previously, when I'm stressed I tend to fall back into more traditional methods of teaching. Also, when time is short, I'm far more likely to simply borrow an assignment or activity from my mentor teacher when it's offered. Not that his ideas and activities aren't great, they are usually fantastic, but they're not my ideas. Teaching someone else's great activity and teaching one that I have personally invested in are not the same thing.

I have some great stuff planned for the last few weeks of the year. Scott and I have concocted a newspaper project to accompany Animal Farm that is just loaded with authentic purpose and opportunities for students to engage with the material, and Beth and I are going to give students in the acting class an authentic look at the audition, casting, and rehearsal process starting in the coming weeks as well. Right now, however, I really feel like I'm just trying to keep my head above water and survive. I always show up for class prepared, but I sometimes feel like I'm doing so just by the skin of my teeth.

Another thing I need to be aware of: when my stress levels go up my temper creeps into my classroom management strategies. I start to think about punishment and correction rather than trying to find ways to encourage students to not talk out of turn or disrupt class in the first place. I don't like that I react this way, and I need to find a way to continually point myself toward positive reinforcement rather than negative.

On Engagement

One definite trend I’m noticing in my research: when I’m stressed or feel like I have a lot going on, the engagement scores of my lessons and in my classes seem to go down. I don’t take the time to think about and look for fun, interesting activities when I feel overwhelmed, and I don’t think that is fair to my classes. If I’m committed to engagement as a priority, I need to be 100% committed, not just when I feel like it. My students will not benefit from the inconsistency. Structure and consistency are important, especially for younger students, and they shouldn’t have to walk into class wondering what to expect every day.

This trend is especially disturbing when I find myself falling back on more traditional methods of teaching, like lecturing and worksheets. I haven’t done this much, but I guess it’s true that you tend to fall back on the way you were taught when you’re unsure or not focused. I want learning to be fun and almost invisible, and there is a time and a place for direct instruction, but I don’t want to be using it simply because I can’t think of anything else or didn’t take the time to come up with anything more creative.

Planning is definitely a weakness of mine. That’s not to say that I walk into class not knowing what I’m doing that day, but I definitely do a lot of “night before” kind of stuff. The students would never know I haven’t planned things out weeks in advance (at least I hope they don’t, my mentor teachers have both said I’m always well prepared), but I often find myself coming up with minor things like journal topics later rather than sooner. Partially this plays into one of my strengths, as I’ve always done my best work when subjected to deadline pressure (being a perfectionist I’m paralyzed at times, until a looming deadline gives me no choice but to accept whatever I come up with), but it’s also an additional source of stress. It would be nice to have the whole term mapped out week by week, but I know I’d end up changing things, and it’s impossible to predict how far we’ll get when reading literature on a given day. Still, it might be helpful to force myself to come up with an outline for the rest of the year, even if I have to shift it around a bit. I can focus on the macro aspect of planning, and leave the micro pieces until the actual day draws nearer.

changing weather

Today my teacher research has hit an interesting peak-I felt, for the first time, as though I was the enemy. I have observed through my interactions with specific students, that apparently my instruction is not working for them. While my research first began as a study of how much they ate, when they slept, how they felt-it seems to have morphed into a study of myself as a teacher. I am not so much aware of, or interested in, what they ate or how well they slept, but how I come to class everyday-do I believe in myself? Do I believe in the students? What does it mean to feel this way? How interesting it is to see the progression of this research.

My research has become a bit of a struggle. I am realizing how little I know and how much I have to learn-not only about myself but also about learning, and how students consume and react to their education. Everyday I think about how I can adapt my instruction to better fit the needs of my students and their process. This is revealing itself to be very difficult and I keep looking around for the rule book or some guidelines and I realize that those things exist but not always in the form that works for your situation.
This week I am going to reflect daily on how my instruction changes to accommodate the learning needs on my students and of myself as an educator.

Trendy Data

Indeed, that is correct.  My data is TRENDY!   No, it's not stylish, or fancy or even conclusive, but it is showing trends.  It's neat to see how numbers are growing and fading in relation to each other.  Although there is so much room for error when interacting with individual people, personalities and an innumerable amount of other influences outside of the classroom, it is good to see that me research is actually producing some information.  :) 

On the other hand, I am finding that the information that I am gathering amounts to very little hardcore evidence.  Mostly, this information is just revealing what I already knew (or thought I knew).  It is backing up my assumptions, and so I wonder how accurately I am measuring this data, and what influences I have attributed to the results.  Since it is all student-given feedback that is producing the most meaningful results, I suppose I am simply an overseer of the data.  However, it is important for me to remember that as I am collecting this data, that there is much more information that I do not know. 

But, in the meantime, with the limited vision of data available, I have seen the following trends:

1. Student effort is consistently related to student enjoyment of class 
2. Student effort and enjoyment raises and falls without direct relation to teacher's feelings or situation.
3. Days unpredictably raise and fall. 

So, now I am wondering when students do better, and when they don't.  Perhaps the day of the weeke has something to do with this?  Perhaps the events of the week, or the assignment load in other classes?  Or perhaps it is related to home life?  OR perhaps it is completely random?  ...too bad I can't be paid to invade schools and research these questions more conclusively and fully.  That would be exciting!!!

-Amy M