However, I do have a lot of learnings and self-reflections to add:
Here are some of my reflections from a stressful few weeks (imagine nightmares and hot sweats on a snowy mountain.):
- Kids need boundaries. These boundaries must be consistent, firm and non-negotiable.
- These boundaries always have an exception. It is a work of art to balance the 'exception' with the rule.
- Don't play in the game unless you know the rules. (aka: if students challenge you, don't feed into their challenge, unless you know how to win ;) - and be ready to find out that your confidence was wrong.
- Don't power struggle. Instead set-up expectations and consequences that are easy to understand, and logical to use.
- Follow through, and expect to do so. (Even if I really don't want to punish students, I need to be ready to do so. That means, I can't set any punishments that I won't be comfortable following through with).
- Kids want to succeed, but once they give up, its difficult to re-convince them that they CAN.
- Encouraging the discouraged is HARD work
- Teaching is akin to counseling...especially in ELD.
- Take a deep breath when you need it. Start again if you need to. (keep your cool)
- Kids like to be believed in
- Teachers need encouragement too.
- Be honest once you diffuse your frustration and anger, let kids know WHY you have felt this way (disappointment...etc.)
and about self:
1. I have gotten better at keeping my cool
2. I have learned more about how to express myself for the betterment of students.
3. I need to raise my expectations of how students will treat ME.
4. I need to be more on-top-of-it in cracking down on misbehavior.
5. I need to see my class as a whole, as well as individuals, and not just as individuals...
6. I want to fix all problems, and need to realize that that is not my job...and not always my lot in life.
Beyond all these things, I have learned that not every personality meshes and sometimes I am not what a student needs...and I need to be okay with that. EARTH TO AMY: "you cannot solve the problems of the world one student at a time...especially if you get stuck on a road bump student...not even if you try harder." It turns out, that when you stop trying, and just consistently support it is then that change surfaces...
'till next time,
-Amy Marsh
Hey Amy,
ReplyDeleteSome great reflections here. I love how some aspects of teaching are universal regardless of what level you're teaching (and I suspect that is part of the reason Neil has us grouped up with peers teaching different levels).
It's good to see you're learning from the "disarray." I hope you see that despite the fact that you haven't really had time to implement your planned data gathering, the insights and information you've gleaned from the frustration that prevents you from gathering data have probably taught you more about yourself and your teaching (pedagogical nature) than the data you would have collected would have shown you. Wow, that was a very Neil-ish sentence ;)
It's only by pounding our heads against the wall of frustration that we're sculpted into lean, mean, teaching machines. It sounds like you're becoming quite sculpted, indeed.
Thanks Neil...er...uh...Ben ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Amy. I am particularly interested in two pieces of insight:
ReplyDelete1. I need to raise my expectations of how students will treat ME.
2. I want to fix all problems, and need to realize that that is not my job...and not always my lot in life.
How did the research process, and what data or kinds of data, helped bring out these powerful threads of self-understanding?
Both of these surfaced during my pre and post teaching reflections. In asking myself, "How do I feel about the next class?" I caught myself saying "SCARED" and with deeper scrutiny into the reasons behind this feeling, I realized that I was expecting to deal with difficulties during the next class that I already knew I wouldn't be able to fix. That frustrated me and made me feel incompetent as a teacher, and perhaps as a person as well. In asking myself "why" again, I realized that my desire was to fix the situation, make the people involved happy and content and safe and better their lives. "why" again, brought out that I really love my students and want them to be able to enjoy school and life. I was defining my success as the establishment of a perfect classroom.
ReplyDeleteRationally speaking, I will never achieve the 'perfect' classroom because every class is full of imperfect people. If I were to find a class full of perfect students, I would surely never teach it, because I would ruin the perfection with my imperfect teaching... :/
Along the same lines, I need to allow myself some slack. I am not a perfect teacher, have a lot to learn, and don't mind the input from students as long as it is done with respect. I am, after all, a person, not merely a tool for their use in educational growth. Sometimes I forget that...